Chapter 2

Faith wandered up and down the dirty streets, feeling like a pile of vampire dust, wondering where she was going to spend the night. She was almost out of cash, and had no idea why she came to this god-forsaken city. She continued to walk till she felt sure that even with her slayer stamina, she would pass out if she didn't sit down soon. Spotting a small park, she looked in at the park's benches. {Aw, what the hell. I've been walking all friggin' day anyway,hell, it feels like I walked here from Sunnydale. I deserve some rest.} She sat down, relaxed ever so slightly, and hearing music drifting from the headphones of one of the guys sitting a couple of benches away, promptly passed out.

Merlyn and Merlin or, Black Merlyn and White Merlin as they were known, sat in Cooper Union park and looked at one another, feeling a bit like a yin-yang symbol. Black Merlyn was average height and dark skinned as his name implied, with greying hair cut close, and a greying beard that earned him his name several times. He wore all black, a bladed-ankh pendant and a strange-looking talisman around his neck, and, of course, his ever-present backpack and "utility belt". White Merlin, on the other hand, was tall, skinny, clean-shaven(well, most of the time) and pale, with longish light brown hair and hazel eyes. He was wearing olive green shorts, sneakers, and a grey t-shirt. He wore a pentacle around his neck , and a few rings on his fingers, devoid of all other accessories.

"Dude, you gotta hear this song Little Wolf downloaded." Black Merlyn said, taking out his walkman. "It's awesome."

White Merlin nudged his friend, and unobtrusively pointed to a raven-haired young woman sitting down on the other side of the tiny park. "Check her out."

Black Merlyn whistled low. "Yeah, no shit. Now listen." He turned his walkman on, and turned the volume up as loud as it would go.

Come see the vampires of New York
Come lose your mind in Central Park
But don't leave your soul behind
Come take in 8th street after dark
Such peculiar people you'll remark
You might even see a murder

"That's too funny." White Merlin grinned, and started to laugh.

"Wait, it gets better."

And all the whores on Bleeker Street
They wear the blissful grin
Caused by the drugs they take
To relieve them of their sins

"Shit, that's our wonderful Gotham, all right." White Merlin shook with silent laughter. As he looked around, laughing, he noticed the dark-haired woman had passed out. "Hey Merlyn, you think she's ok?" He asked, his laugher stopping abruptly. He gestured to the bench with the unconsious female on it.

"Aw, man, I don't know. Let's find out."

And "oh lord I think she's dying" I heard somebody say

Merlin walked over to the woman, and gently shook her arm. "Miss, are you alright?" The woman stirred slightly, but otherwise didn't budge.

I think she's dying

Merlyn touched his hand to her forehead, feeling heat radiate off of her, as if she'd been in a pizza oven. "Shit, she's burning up...man, we should call an ambulance or something."

"Let's try and wake her."

The two men tried to wake her, with no success.

"Let's get her to your house, man. I think she's just dehydrated." Merlyn said, pulling out some quarters. "I'll call Wrath and ask him to come get us. Stay with her in case she wakes up."

And "oh lord I think she's dying"

Black Merlyn dialed the numbers and listened to it ring. "Come on, pick up, pick up...hello?" He asked as his friend Wrath picked up the phone.

"Hey, Merlyn, what's up?" Wrath asked, recognizing his friend's voice.

"Dude, this chick passed out in Cooper Union, and she's got a fever...but I think she's just dehydrated. Can you come grab us and take us over to Merlin's?"

"Yeah, no problem. I'll be there soon. Go buy some water in case she wakes up."

"No doubt, see you when you get here." Merlyn hung up the phone and ran inside Ray's pizzaria to buy a couple of bottles of water, then ran back across the street to the park.

"Any change?" Merlyn asked his opposite.

"Nah, she's out for the count."

"Well Wrath said he'd be here soon."

Wrath pulled on his shoes, and got into his car. Speeding down the Long Island Expressway, he turned on the radio, catching the tail end of a song he'd never heard before.

Or maybe she's already dead and maybe she's gone to Mars
Maybe we could write her epitaph in the stars
It'd say "If you go away from here..If you go a million miles..."
Come downtown to see them go
Into the den of the vampires of New York
But please watch your step as you're getting off, kids

{Dude, that's weird...I wonder if they really know about all of us.} Wrath lit a cigarette, and got onto the Williamsburg bridge. {Man, I gotta get Merlin a cell phone.} He thought to himself, wishing he could let his friends know he was almost there. Soon enough though, he was pulling up alongside the little park on the Bowery. Honking the horn, he got out and looked over the fence.

"Hey guys, this her? Man, she's cute."

"Yeah no kidding," Merlin looked at his friend and gestured to the still unconsious form on the bench. "Now you wanna give us a hand?"

"Yeah, sorry,"

The guys carried the girl down the short set of steps to the basement apartment Merlin shared with his sometimes lover, Sarafina. No one really liked Sarafina, as she acted like a spoiled brat most of the time, and didn't take into accout Merlin's wants, or needs. As luck would have it, however, Sarafina was home when the boys walked into the house.

"Who's that?" Sarafina demanded when she saw the limp woman.

"A girl who passed out in the park. She's dehydrated, and we figured we'd get her out of the sun, let her wake up, and then send her on her way." Merlin said, matter-of-factly. He braced himself for Sarafina's reaction.

"You've got to be kidding me. You brought someone you don't even know, into my house?"

"Our house." Merlin stated dryly. "And yes. This chick doesn't look like she could use hospital bills, you know what I mean? If she's seriously injured or sick, Wrath and I'll take her to the emergency room."

"Fine, whatever, but be quiet. I have class tomorrow, and I need to study."

Wrath and Merlyn carried the woman over to the couch, and White Merlin got a damp washcloth. He wiped her forehead and her neck, and she slowly started to come around.

Faith felt woozy, like she'd been fighting a horde of demons for a lifetime. She heard voices, and slowly opened her eyes.

"Where am I?" Faith looked around slowly as the pain in her head started. "Who are you guys?" Seeing strangers, Faith dropped into a defensive crouch, despite the drums and gongs playing in her head. "Wait, I remember you guys," gesturing at the human yin-yang. "You guys were in that park. How'd I get here? And where the hell is here?"

"Relax, miss. You passed out, and we thought we'd better get you indoors." The darker half of the balance tried to calm her down. My name is Merlyn Drakonis. This is Merlin Taliesin, and Wrath Quicksilver. That's Sarafina."

Merlyn gestured at everyone in turn, introducing them. "You were burning with fever." He held out one of the bottles of water, and sat down at the generous table accross from the couch. The other men did the same, on the opposite side.

The girl he called Sarafina was sitting at a computer, typing furiously. "Mmm. Yeah, Hi." She said, not really paying attention.

{Well at least there's a female in the room.} "Uh, how do I know you guys aren't gonna hurt me?" Faith said, cautiously taking the bottle from Merlyn.

"It's not what we do. We like helping more than hurting." The other one called Merlin offered her a cigarette. Faith shook her head.

"No thanks, those things'll kill ya."

"A lot of things will kill you, this is one of the fun ones." Merlyn lit a cigarette for himself. "So what's your name, hon?"

"Faith. And I'm not your hon." Faith bit off the words, but fatigue started to creep in again, and she sat down. "Where am I?"

Merlin stood up, and bowed with a sweeping gesture. "Welcome to my humble abode, madam. Please feel free to relax."

Faith looked around at the sparse setting. A sink and a stove on one end of a large room, with a door leading out, a big wooden table around which sat the men, reminding Faith of a medieval something-or-other from her history and myth class in high school, a computer that looked like it had seen better days, a bookshelf, a couch, and assorted other items. There were a bunch of doors, she couldn't tell where they led. "You guys are really on the level?" She looked disbelieving.

"Yeah," Wrath said. "We just thought you needed help, so we brought you someplace where you could cool off. You know, the everyday awful people who go around helping. Like goth superheroes." He laughed, and she relaxed a bit.

{He reminds me of Xander.} "Okay, so where is this?" She gestured around, meaning outside of this room.

"Astoria, Queens." Merlin answered. There was something about him, she couldn't quite put her finger on, it was like madness without insanity, or something like that.

"Is that still in New York?" she asked, trying to picture a map in her head.

"Not from around here, are you? Yes, it's in New York, not to worry. Only a train ride away." Merlin replied, sounding like a commercial.

"Okay. Gotcha." Merlyn fiddled with his walkman.

Come see the vampires of New York
Come lose your mind in Central Park
But don't leave your soul behind
Come take in 8th street after dark
Such peculiar people you'll remark
You might even see a murder

"Hey! That's the song I heard on the radio on the way to pick you up! The one about us, or something!" Wrath said excitedly.

{Vampires of New York? 'About us'? Oh shit...what have I gotten into...}"Uh, vampires?" Faith mentally took inventory of her stakes.

"Oh we're not bad vampires, we don't kill people or anything,just into the whole, culture. You know, "the scene"" Merlyn made the quotation symbol with his fingers. "We just like to dance and have fun and stuff."

"Riiight. Well, it was nice knowing all of you." Faith jumped off the couch, stake in hand, and then thought of something. "Why are you guys not dust right now? You know, it's daylight."

Sarafina piped up. "You think we're real vampires? No, no, no. In New York, there's vampire with and "i" and vampyre with a "y". The ones with an "i" will suck your blood and kill you. The ones with a "y", we'll just get you liquored up, and make you have a good time."

"What my eloquent roommate is trying to convey, is that we are, as much as we may wish it weren't so, extremely mortal, and very human." Merlin said, drawing out his words, showing his exasperation with Sarafina.

"Okay, so you're human?" {Who'd have thought there were humans in the world, that wanted to be like vampires?} That's good, 'cause I wouldn't have wanted to slay you while I'm so tired." {Whoa! giving the game away, are we?}

"Why don't you stretch out, and get some more rest, we're leaving in a little while to go out to a club anyway. We can drop you off in the city then."Wrath offered, sliding a paper flyer across the table to her.

Faith looked at the purple flyer advertising a party called "Flesh Theatre". {Wow, serious vampire culture. Wait, this is an S&M club? I might enjoy this.} "This sounds kinda cool, actually. Mind if I tag along?"

"Not at all. You can meet the rest of our house." Wrath agreed.

"House? Like a coven?"

"More like a family." Merlyn said. "We're just a bunch of people into the same stuff. Go on, get some sleep. We'll wake you in a couple of hours."

Chapter 3

Willow walked out of the cottage the Coven let her and Giles use while they were in England. {I can't believe I'm here again.} She looked around at the lush countryside and took of her sandals. Walking barefoot through the grass, she felt a peace she hadn't felt in a long time. Even being with Buffy for the two short weeks between that night at the Bronze and her sudden trip to England with Giles hadn't given her peace like this. And as much as Faith opened up to her, Willow still couldn't shake the nightmares. In fact, that was why she was here.

An accolyte walked out, carrying a cloth sack. "Shall we?"

Willow smiled. "Yes. I'm ready." She picked up her sandals, and, deciding she wouldn't need them, tossed them inside the cottage before taking a walking stick from beside the door and following the accolyte up the small hill to the stone ring. "More meditation today, Sarah?"

Sarah smiled at Willow and said, "Yes. I think you need to face your dream. We'll be going into a rather dangerous memory resurfacing meditation, but I think you can handle it." Sarah stopped in the middle of the circle. "I think we'll sit here."

Willow dropped to the ground, sitting cross-legged in front of Sarah. "I'm ready."

"Have you got that goddess-awful music you listen to when you relax?" Sarah looked disdainful, but amused. She had never met anyone who could meditate to "rock-n-roll" music before, but she knew Willow was no ordinary witch.

"Yup." Willow grinned at the accolyte, before pressing the 'play' button on the tape recorder in her lap. Music started to come out of the speaker.

"Just be glad my concentration isn't key to this excersize." Sarah smirked at Willow. "It's your comfort that matters. Now, I want you to think of something that makes you happy."

Willow cleared her mind, a practice she was long used to, and focused on her happy thought: Buffy. She thought of how happy she was that now they had finally admitted their feelings for one another. She listened to the music, only half-aware of the first song. She was settling in, as the song changed. She was waiting for this, she had re-recorded this tape especially for today.

She was enjoying thinking of making love with Buffy, when all of a sudden, she thought of Tara, when Sweet had made them all tell their truths in song, and how much she loved Tara, and how much Tara had loved her.

And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life

She was entering the memory of that horrible day. The one when Warren came in with a gun, trying to kill her beloved, Buffy, and instead killing her beloved, Tara.

'Cause sooner or later it's over
I just don't want to miss you tonight

Willow started shaking. "No! Tara!" She looked at her memory-self, then at Warren, then up at the window she knew had a dying Tara behind it. She ran towards Buffy, seeking comfort.

Sarah watched the range of emotion cross Willow's face.

"Nooooooooooo! Tara!" Willow screamed out, obviously replaying that horrible day in her head. But it wasn't Sarah's place to intervene, just to make sure that Willow didn't harm herself. She felt sympathy for the girl, having to witness such awful things as she and the slayer faced night in, and night out. She wished she could do something for her, but for now, she would sit, and watch, and wrap the young wicca in a blanket and give her hot tea when it was over for the day. She pulled her knees up to her chest, and waited.

Willow watched as the scene suddenly changed. Suddenly, they were in the Magic Box, and Tara's father and brother were there, as well as Buffy and the rest of the Scoobies.

"I was just afraid that if you saw the kind of people I came from, you wouldn't wanna be anywhere near me." Tara looked down at the floor.

And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

"You want her?" Buffy asked. "Then take her." Tara went pale. "But you have to go through me."

Faith woke up with a start, thinking everything was this awful dream, but looking around at the basement apartment she was laying in, she knew it to be the truth.

"Morning. Or evening. As the case may be." Merlyn smiled at her. "You want some coffee?" He held a mug out to her.

"Coffee." Faith yawned, and gratefully accepted the cup from him. "What time is it?"

"Almost 9." He stretched, and stood up. "Merlin and Wrath went to get the car, asked me to wake you."

"9 am?" Faith squinted at the clock, not fully awake yet.

"9 pm. That is, if you still want to go out with us."

"Yeah man, most definite." Faith slugged the rest of the coffee, stood up, stretched. "Gonna pee first, if you tell me where the bathroom is."

Merlyn pointed.

"Thanks, M."

"no prob, bob."

Merlyn and Faith piled into Wrath's little car, and took off for "the city", as they called it. Not finding many vampires, or cemetaries, for that matter in Manhattan, Faith had not really witnessed the splendor of the New York City skyline after dark. The Empire State Building, the Twin Towers of the World Trade Center, the Chrystler Building...Faith's breath was taken away.

"Nice, huh?" Merlyn nudged her, and pointed out the window.

"Yeah. It's a..amazing."

Wrath glanced at them in the rear-view mirror. "You guys mind some music?"

Merlyn smiled. "Nah man, do what you feel."

"I could do with tunes." Faith grinned. She was beginning to have a good time.

Wrath turned on the radio, and before he could press play on his CD player, Faith heard a familiar song on the radio.

And I'd give up forever to touch you
'Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't want to go home right now

"Oh! Don't change it, please?" Faith cried out. "I love that song. It..it reminds me of m..my ex-girlfriend." Faith braced herself for whatever the three boys might say. {Why do I actually care? It's weird, but I do.}

"No problem, I'll leave it." Wrath replied, not even noticing her comment.

"What's her name?" Merlin asked politely.

"Huh?" Faith asked, pulled from her thoughts.

"Your ex-girlfriend. I was just wondering what her name is. Was. Something." Merlin blushed at his babble.

"Is. Her name's Willow."

"Willow, huh? She Wiccan?" Merlin asked, now curious.

"Actually, yeah. How did you know?"

"It's just logical."

Faith leaned back, listening to the music. {If their friends are this cool, I could get to like it here.}

And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
'Cause sooner or later it's over
I just don't want to miss you tonight

"God, that's so true." Faith said, not realizing she spoke aloud.

"What's true?" Merlyn looked at her.

"Oh, God, I said that out loud?" Faith blushed. {What's wrong with me?}

"Yeah, 'cause if you mean the lyrics, I totally agree." Merlyn patted her hand. "I'ts okay, love. You don't have to be embarrassed with us."

"Yeah," piped in Wrath. "Please don't be embarrassed. We like you, and want you to feel safe and comfortable."

"I'm good, man. Don't worry." {Wow. He really does kinda remind me of Xander.} Faith laughed to herself. {and Merlin kinda reminds me of Willow, the way he babbles and blushes. He's actually kinda cute.}

Buffy walked into the law firm. "Hey Cordy." She tried to put a smile on her face, but all she managed was a grimace.

"Oh my god! Buffy!" Cordelia came around the counter and hugged her high-school buddy. "How have you been?"

Buffy noticed the phony smile on Cordelia Chase's face, and shrugged. {I deserve it, I guess. I wasn't the nicest to her, well, ever...and then the whole Angel thing...God, I'm starting to sound like Willow..}Buffy blushed at the thought of her new girlfriend. {Finally! I thought I'd burst if I didn't just...tell her already!}

Cordelia looked at Buffy strangely, then realized the slayer must be babbling to herself. "God! around Willow much?"

"What?" Buffy said, a little too quickly. "Why do you say that?"

"Geez, take a pill...you're babbling to yourself, and now to me. Is there a reason you're here, or is it just the new Slayer pastime to come annoy me?"

"Actually, I was looking for Angel. He called me about something. Said it was important."{Calm down, calm down.}

"Oh. Yeah. In the office." Cordelia pointed, before sitting back down at her desk.

Buffy looked at Cordelia, then walked through to the office. {Must be those visions or something, causing those mood swings.}

Buffy knocked, then walked into the office. Noticing Angel on the phone, she took a seat, and heard Cordelia in the other room, moving around. Hearing a noise, she realized Cordy must have turned the radio on. {Wow, those lyrics remind me of Willow.}

And I'd give up forever to touch you
'Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't want to go home right now

{Mmm..}Buffy lost focus of the room, drowning in the memory of Willow and the two weeks they just spent together. {Why'd you have to go to England now? When I need you the most?}

And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
'Cause sooner or later it's over
I just don't want to miss you tonight

{God, that's so true...I don't wanna miss you, Will...but I do. I miss you so much!}

"Ah. Alright. Thanks, it means alot. Talk to you..no, I guess I won't. Goodbye." Angel hung up the phone. "Buffy?"

"Mmm?" Buffy responded, not really hearing Angel, but instead lost in Willow-thought.

"Buffy, did you hear me?"

"Mm..What?" Buffy jerked out of her reverie, looking at Angel. "Sorry Angel. What's up? Why couldn't you tell me over the phone?"

Angel took something out of his desk drawer, and walked around the desk to sit on it in front of Buffy. "Because I had to give you this." Angel held out his hand, an ancient-looking pendant dangling from it's chain around his fingers.

"I can already tell you, I have nothing that goes with that." She took it from him, and turned it over in her hand.

"It's not for you."

"Splainy?" She looked up at him, curious.

"I don't know everything. It's very powerful and probably very dangerous. It has a purifying power, cleansing power, possibly scrubbing bubbles. The translation is.." he trailed off. "Anyway, it bestows strength to the right person who wears it."

"And the right person is?"

"Someone ensouled but stronger than human. A champion. As in me."

"Or me." She got that 'feminist slayer' look now, and looked at him.{You always have to be the hero. Even when it's my job..my whole life!}

"No. I don't know nearly enough about this to risk you wearing it. Besides, you've got that real cool axe-thing going for you."

"So you're going to be with me in this?" She stood up and turned away from him, unable to look him in the eye.

"Shoulder-to-shoulder. I'm yours."

"No."

"No what?"

"No. You're not going to be in this fight." She whirled around to meet his eyes.

"Why the hell not?"

"Because I can't risk you."

"You need me in this."

"No, I don't. If We..if I..don't make it, I want to know someone's alive to finish it. A..and to take care of Willow. I don't want her going all veiny about me the way she did about Tara."

"Is there something you're not telling me?"

"Yes."

"Wanna elaborate? Or is this more 'slayer mysteriousness'? Cause I've had more than enough."

"No."{I knew I was gonna have to go here, why am I beating around the bush?}

"Buffy?"

"Willow and I...we...we're together." The slayer looked at the ground at Angel's feet, unable to meet his confused gaze. and heard the music still filtering in through the half-open door.

And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

"Together." It wasn't a question.

"Yeah. After all these years, Angel. We both finally had the courage..." Buffy trailed off, seeing the hurt in Angel's eyes. "So...a champion with a soul, huh?" Buffy tried to change the subject. {It's hurting him, but if I die, it won't matter, right?}

And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming
Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything feels like the movies
And you bleed just to know you're alive

"So, I'm gonna get back, Giles and Willow should be coming back in a couple of days, we all need to prepare."

"Yeah." Angel said flatly, not bothering to meet Buffy's light green eyes.

Buffy walked out of Wolfram and Hart, and got in her jeep.

Wrath pulled into a parking space around the corner from the club. The four climbed out of his tiny car and started back up the block.

{Jeez, his car's tiny. Kinda reminds me of G-man's.}"So, this place is all about the whips and chains, huh?"

Merlin looked at her. "Well, it's mixed, but yeah, you could say that."

Faith smiled. "It's all good, bro. I've been to clubs like this before."

Merlin relaxed. "Oh, ok."

They walked around the corner, and Faith heard a noise that made her stop short, crouching in a defensive position. She heard a wolf howl. The three men with her started laughing. "Have you guys gone bonkers?" Faith looked around, to see where the sound was coming from.

"No, not at all," Merlyn managed between gasps for air. "That's just Dad."

"Dad? Lucy, you've got some 'splainin to do."

Wrath put his arm around her, pulling her towards the source of the sound, just before Merlin tilted his head back and copied, howling himself. "Our house father, Dire Wolf. That's his way of telling us he's seen us, hello, and he's outside waiting."

"Wow, you're all wackos, aren't you?" Faith smiled uneasily, and sure enough, she saw a very tall, handsome black man, dressed all in black, wearing various leather and silver acoutremants, and carrying a riding crop. He smiled when they got closer, and she could see fangs in his mouth. {Not vampy fangs, just..fangs.}

The three men walked up to him, and in turn, each gave him a hug and a warrior's handshake. After they had all greeted their father, Wrath spoke up. "Dad, this is Faith. Faith, this is Lord Dire Wolf."

Dire Wolf stretched out a hand with a strange sound, {something like a voomp} and said, "Greetings. Very nice to meet you." His voice was soft and husky, {somehow fitting for someone named Wolf} and his dark eyes glittered with mischeviousness.

Faith took his hand. "Nice to meet you too." Dire Wolf lifted her hand to his mouth, and ever so gently kissed it on the back.

Standing up straight again, he put his arm around a much smaller woman, gently nudging her forward, and said, "This is my lady, Little Debbie."

The small woman was wearing a triple goddess pendant{Tara had one of those}and a locked band around her left wrist. "Very nice to meet you," Debbie said.

Dire Wolf looked around. "Haden?"

A beautiful, tall woman with a tattoo between her voluptuous breasts, stepped away from a small group of people she had been talking to, and said, "Yes, my darling?" She smiled, and Faith could see that she too, had fangs.

"This is the mother of my house, Goddess Haden. Haden, this is Faith," Dire Wolf said, introducing them.

Goddess Haden held out her hand, and Faith bowed her head slightly, remembering her experiences in similar clubs in LA, and kissed Goddess' hand. "Goddess."

"Ah, one who shows manners." Goddess Haden threw her head back and emitted what could only be called a cackle. "We'll have fun tonight."

Faith shivered. {What the...it's been a hell of a long time since anyone's even so much as thought of me as a submissive...but...this could be fun.} "I try, Goddess." Faith eyed the flogger hanging from Dire Wolf's hip. It was a thing of beauty, long black deer-hide tails, with a sterling silver handle, that curved upward, ending in a fluid pommel. The very sight made Faith cringe, and get slightly wet.

"Go inside, get stamped, and come back out, and I'll introduce you to the rest of my family." Dire Wolf said simply.

"Okay." Faith showed her ID, went inside, got her hand stamped, looked around really fast, taking in the site of the man in the hood strapped to a St. Andrew's Cross near the DJ booth, and went back outside. When she got back over to Dire Wolf, he had several people gathered around him. {Wow, these people really look up to him like a father. Like B does with G-man.}"I'm back, Sir." {Did I really just say that? Did I, the big-bad slayer just call him 'Sir'? Oh man, if B could see me now.}

Dire Wolf looked down at her and smiled. "Wolf will do fine, Faith." He gestured to the group of people standing around him. "This is my family." He pointed to each person in turn. "Little Wolf, Lukos, or Tomboy as we call him, Coyote, Grenedine, Taz, GrimWolf, Midnight and you already know Wrath, Merlyn and Merlin."
Little Wolf was wearing all black, with a wolf ring on one hand, a pentagram on the other, and around his neck were two bladed ankhs like Merlyn was wearing, and a wolf's head on a string of blue and black beads. Lukos was wearing raver-style cargos, a t-shirt, with a bladed ankh and a pentagram around his neck. Coyote was also wearing a bladed ankh, as well as all black. Looking around, Faith realized most people were wearing them.

"Uh, Wolf?" Faith asked, looking up at him. "What are the ankhs for?"

Dire Wolf smiled. "It is one of many symbols for our community." Faith looked at his chest, seeing the silver relief of Anubis there.

"How come you aren't wearing one?"

"I simply choose not to. I wear the guardian for my own reasons." My children choose to wear, or not wear the ankh at their own discretion."
Faith looked at the remaining people in the circle. Grenedine was wearing hot pink UFO pants, a gothic hello kitty shirt {I didn't know hello kitty came in goth!} and a green mohawk. Taz was very simply wearing blue jeans, and a t-shirt, and GrimWolf, also all black, with fingerless gloves and a black bandanna around his head. Midnight was wearing black jeans and sneakers, with a spiderweb pendant around her neck.

"Faith, right?" Faith looked over to see Little Wolf looking at her questioningly.

"Yeah.." Faith answered.

"These are my children." Little Wolf pointed to three girls. "Eevee, Pez, and Space."

Lukos walked over with another girl, holding a baby in her arms. "And this is my daughter Claudia."

Faith looked at the scene. {Wow. Happy freakin' gothic family.} "Man." Faith whistled low. "You don't all live in the same house, do you?"

"Goddess no." Little Wolf answered. "I live with Lukos, and my birth parents."

"And we all have lives outside of our little night world." Dire Wolf finished the statement for him. "Shall we go inside?"

"Yeah, sure." {I gotta admit, it's a little freaky, but it's almost like they're playing some weird-ass role-playing game or something. I could get used to this I guess. Not that I have a choice...can't go back to Sunny-D. If there is a Sunny-D.} Faith followed Dire Wolf, watching his hands play with his crop. {Holy shit, are those..?} Faith leaned over to look closer. {Dude! Sterling-fucking-silver claws!}

Dire Wolf noticed Faith looking at his claws, and ran them lightly over her cheek. The dark slayer shivered. "Do you like?" He ran his claws down her other cheek.

"Yeah, those are awesome."

"Thank you."

Faith took a good look around the club this time, noticing that except for the people, it looked like any other fetish club. Here, however, everybody was pretty much dressed like they stepped out of an Anne Rice novel. She felt something familiar slide across her shoulder, and looking over saw Dire Wolf's flogger draped around her neck.

"I saw you looking earlier."

"Yeah, you're flogger's beautiful." {Doesn't miss a trick, huh?}

"Thank you. Would you care to try it out?" He gestured toward the DJ booth, but not toward the bound slave, he gestured toward the other St. Andrew's Cross.

{Oh go for it, it's not like he can really hurt you.} "Sure, why in hell's not?"

Buffy drove around for hours, before fatigue finally set in. Pulling into a motel, Buffy parked the jeep, and walked into the office. She reached into her purse, and pulled out the credit card the Watcher's Council had given her.

"Uhm, Hi. I'd like a room please." She handed the clerk the card, and waited while she ran it.

A few minutes later, the clerk came back with her card and a room key. "Here you go, hon. Room 204."

"Thanks." Buffy walked down the hall, and put the key into the door. She walked into the room, flopped down, and flipped on the TV.

{God, what am I still doing in LA? I just can't bring myself to go home yet.}

And I'd give up forever to touch you
'Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't want to go home right now
And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
'Cause sooner or later it's over
I just don't want to miss you tonight

Buffy sat captivated by the screen. "Jeez! Is someone trying to tell me something today?!" Buffy shouted to no one, the song blaring from the TV screen. {It'll be okay. Willow and Giles will come home, and..and..we'll fight the big bad like we always do.}

And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming
Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything feels like the movies
And you bleed just to know you're alive

{So why do I still feel like shit?}

Willow came jolting out of her meditation as the song ended and came on again, being a continuous loop. She started to sob as Sarah put a blanket around her. "It..it's so hard Sarah."

And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming
Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything feels like the movies
And you bleed just to know you're alive

"Shh, I know." Sarah pulled Willow's head down on to her shoulder, and saw Giles walking up the hill. He took Willow's hand, and led her down the hill to the cottage, and put her to bed, her tape player tucked safely next to her, like a child's stuffed toy.

Faith relaxed into a familiar sense of security as Dire Wolf secured the rope around her ankles. He paused in tying her wrists to the cross, and a woman came up next to him. "Faith, this is Madame Bleu. She's White Merlin's mother, and she asked if it's all right if she flogs you as well."

Faith smirked to herself. {Shit, what the hell...no problem!} "Sure, Wolf. Hell, why don't you both go for it?"

Wolf looked at Faith strangely. "Are you sure?"

"Hell yeah, pops! Gimme all you've got!"

Dire Wolf fastened the knots around her wrists, and the DJ began a new set just as the first few blows rained down.

And I'd give up forever to touch you
'Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't want to go home right now
And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
'Cause sooner or later it's over
I just don't want to miss you tonight

Faith rested her head in the crotch of the cross. "God, Willow! Why wasn't I enough?" She cried out loud.

Dire Wolf looked at Madame Bleu and nodded. He'd seen this before. She was seeking refuge. And he and Madame Bleu would give it to her.

And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

Faith felt the sweet heat of the welts raising on her skin. "They'll be gone by morning anyway." She said to herself. And she felt the thud of Dire Wolf's and Madame Bleu's floggers individually now, one by one.

And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming
Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything feels like the movies
And you bleed just to know you're alive

And all of a sudden, Faith started to cry. Sweet tears of release flowed down her cheeks as she forgave Willow, and herself. {And Buffy too. Can't forget B. After all, if Red didn't love her more...}Faith's thought's were cut off as Madame Bleu rained down a thunderstorm of leather on Faith's back.
{Buf...Re...Madame...Mistress...}"Mistress...Thank you Mistress! Thank you!" Faith screamed as the release became complete, and she lost herself in the last lines of the song.

And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

I just want you to know who I am

Buffy sat on the bed, remote in hand, watching the end of the music video.

I just want you to know who I am

Willow lay in bed, listening to the refrain.

I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am

{I just wanted to know who I am...}